Martial arts jokes as a genre will cover the gambit of many different styles. Yet, if you think about it there are many overlaps in these styles and many things to poke fun at in these common areas. That’s what I plan to do here. I plan to poke annoyingly at all of them.
Martial arts jokes for kids will center on many of the main styles kids get involved in and enjoy. The styles these jokes take aim at range from Karate to Judo, Kung Fu to Kali, and Jiu jitsu to TaeKwonDo. They must also be age appropriate with themes parents will not find offensive.
In this survey of some of the funniest jokes for kids surrounding these martial arts styles, you will become armed with the ability to bring out the laughs in most any martial artist or instructor. We will first start with some fun and funny facts about the martial arts, then dive roll right into the fray with the giggle fest.
Contents
Martial Arts Fun Facts That May Surprise You
In this section we will look at some fun and interesting facts about some of the martial arts mentioned in these jokes. This will help to put some of the puns and funny observations into perspective.
For those that have studied the martial arts, these may also bring on the ‘Ah Ha’ moment. What is the ‘Ah Ha’ moment? It is the exact time that the thing you have always wondered about, but never got around to asking presents itself.
Here are a few fun facts. Put on your thinking cap, or simply bookmark this page and make them yours.
Kung Fu Doesn’t Mean Kung Fu.
Kung Fu did not mean years ago what many today think it means. In modern times it has become synonymous with the martial arts of China and its people. Long ago it meant something like what we today would refer to as proficiency or the journey.
You could be complimented on your Kung Fu related to art, music, or even cooking. This was true also in other cultures like Japan in some ways, but it was a strongly held perspective in the China of centuries ago. Your Kung Fu was considered strong or weak in most everything you did.
If you would like to get your family a copy of the very funny Kung Fu Panda movie, just follow this link to Amazon to get it delivered right to your home.
The Martial Arts Did Not Originate Solely In Asian Cultures.
Far from originating in the East, the martial arts can be traced back to ancient Greece, Egypt, and as far back as recorded history can be found. These techniques were used for military and defense purposes in many cultures.
Usage made its way in and out of popular civilian use, but much of the time the two were populated by the same people. Soldiers were not always part of a standing army. Many times farmers, carpenters, and the like were also the warriors when times called for it. The martial arts became simply another facet of their lives.
What was one of the first Olympic sports? Greek Wrestling (though they wrestled naked – Yuk!).
Boards Don’t Hit Back.
This movie line made famous by the actor/martial artist Bruce Lee has been often used by those wanting to complain about the use of board breaking in Karate and other styles. The problem is, no one ever said they did.
Board breaking has everything to do with preparing for self defense and not much to do with the application of self defense techniques themselves. Some like Lee’s fictional opponent in the film Enter The Dragon use the practice to display strength to others. Though, the instance in the movie is rather absurd.
Yet, the sole purpose for breaking boards is for the student to break through boundaries of fear and prove something to the self, not the other. It is a drill. No one ever made the claim that breaking boards is a self defense technique in itself. No one in their right mind anyway.
Besides, we don’t make this claim about any other sport or art.
- “Color testing doesn’t paint paintings.”
- “Running sprints doesn’t score basketball three pointers.”
- “Football blocking pads and sleds DON’T HIT BACK.”
Martial Arts Knock Knock Jokes For Kids
Now let’s dive into some good old fashioned knock, knock funnies. Here we will look at martial arts themed knock knock jokes designed with kids in mind. If you know anything about knock, knock jokes you know these martial arts styled ones will combine plays on wording and spelling with self defense and style related subjects.
This of course will not be an exhaustive list. If you would like more jokes directed toward a specific style of the martial arts then follow the links provided throughout this resource.
Now, lets… wait… did someone just knock on my door?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben training Kali all morning. I’m beat, just let me in.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Iva.
Iva who?
Iva mind to Judo throw you if you don’t open this door.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Watson.
Watson who?
Watson today’s agenda for martial arts class? Judo? Karate? Kali?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will you be able to come roll with us tonight in Jiu jitsu?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Ivysaur (A pokemon).
Ivysaur who?
Ivysaur wrist from HapKiDo training the other day?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to get ready for TaeKwonDo? You’re gonna be late.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Nanna.
Nanna who?
Nanna your business who’s at the door. Get your gi on and get ready for Karate.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Avenue.
Avenue who?
Avenue practiced martial arts enough for one day? Take a shower!
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Don Juan.
Don Juan who?
Don Juan play soccer or baseball. I do martial arts.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Heidi.
Heidi who?
Heidi-cided to start martial arts classes.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Icon.
Icon who?
Icon do higher jump kicks than you can.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you doing on the couch? It’s time for Judo.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Leaf.
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone or your first Jiu Jitsu lesson is free.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Viper.
Viper who?
Viper nose. I’m not wrestling with you with that dirty nose.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Scott.
Scott who?
Scott to be close to 6 o’clock. Don’t you have TaeKwonDo?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for martial arts. You were almost late!
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Howl.
Howl who?
Howl you ever get a black belt if you don’t train every day?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Dewey.
Dewey who?
Dewey have martial arts online or in person toady?
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip on water after Judo practice. Drinking while you train may make you sick.
Knock, knock,
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
Goliath down over there. We must showeth thou Jiu Jitsu positions.
If you want more Karate knock, knock jokes, see my article hear specifically on Karate jokes for kids.
Martial Arts Goodbye Jokes For Kids
Here you can find plenty of ways to part with little ninjas that will have them happy and skipping instead of sad and frowning. Those that love training in martial arts will love these simple rhymes that help ease a goodbye.
Of course this is not an exhaustive list, but it is a great start to help you come up with your own and brighten the day of most any kid. They will love them and start coming up with their own in no time.
These are a mix of different martial arts styles transformed into farewell jokes. Use the one that fits your little Karate or Judo star the best. Then get ready for the verbal sparring mixed with lots of giggles.
Get gone quick,
like a spin kick.
Kick rocks,
or you better block.
Be gone till lunch,
or here comes the punch.
Be gone and quick,
or I’m getting my Kali stick.
Time to go,
to Judo.
See you later,
ninja slayer.
Adieu,
until Jiu Jitsu.
Adios.
Watch for Judo throws.
Cheerio.
See you at TaeKwonDo.
After while,
in Karate style.
Peace out!
Don’t get knocked out!
Gotta get going,
time for Jiu Jitsu rolling.
Get out the door,
Eskrimador. (Kali student)
See you on the flip side,
keep your stances wide.
See you in the yard,
Butterfly Guard. (BJJ position)
It’s time to part,
to practice martial arts.
Catch a trolley,
see you in Kali.
Adieu,
see you at Kung Fu.
Get gone faster,
Karate master.
Too bad you can’t stay,
say hi to sensei.
If you would like to see a lot more goodbye jokes to take the sting out of your next farewell, click here for a ton of them in my article on just that.
Martial Arts Hello Jokes For Kids
These martial arts hello jokes for kids will liven up any room you enter. Just toss them out like ninja throwing stars and you will cause a ruckus. Once you get them warmed up with these great one liners, you can move on to martial arts knock, knock jokes or some of the short and long ones.
Especially if you are talking to Little Ninjas that train, you will not only cause them to recognize the topic, but will catch them off guard with the clever rhymes. This, kids find funny.
If you are able to use rhymes, alliteration, and things they already like, you have a ‘deadly’ combination. You will slay the room like a master ninja.
What’s kickin,
Karate Chicken?
Hello,
Mr. (Miss) Judo.
Hi,
Karate guy.
Glad you got to see me,
Karate cutie.
What do you know,
Mr. (Miss) TaeKwonDo?
How do you do,
Mr. (Miss) Kung Fu?
Glad you got to see me,
Mr. (Miss) Kali.
What’s new,
Mr. (Miss) Jiu Jitsu?
Hey,
Sensei.
You should have come faster,
TaeKwonDo master.
You should have been here before,
Eskrimador. (Kali student)
Hiyyaaaaaaaaaah!
(Because martial artists scream that way… its funny… admit it.)
It’s nice to see you,
Sifu.
Aloha,
Kung Fu Panda.
Ogenki desu ka, (Japanese)
Judoka? (Judo student)
Konnichiwa, (Japanese)
Karateka? (Karate student)
Yo,
Jitsu bro!
You made it back quick,
sidekick.
Nǐ hǎo,
Kung Fu pal.
Nǐ hǎo.
Wing Chun gal.
Short Martial Arts Jokes For Kids
This is where you will find those easy to remember jokes that will inevitably get passed around. These jokes for kids center of course around the martial arts. They are simple enough for most kids, but you will be able to tell the ones that may need explaining.
You may also be surprised, that if you tell these to Little Ninjas that train they may be explaining them to you. Either way, they will be both funny and enlightening. So, jump kick your way into them and give it a try.
If you feel inspired by these short funny jokes for kids, try some of your own and add to your own list. As long as it is about the martial arts you can go the word play route or the surprise ending route. You will eventually master the art of martial joke telling.
What can you break without kicking or punching it?
A promise.
Why did the girl sidekick her alarm clock out the window?
She wanted to see time fly.
What can hold up a 200 lb man, but most any kid could snap it?
A martial arts breaking board.
Why did the boy point out his bully to his older brother who had a TaeKwonDo black belt?
He thought the bully would get a kick out of it.
What does a strong storm in Kansas, a tongue, and a BJJ black belt all have in common?
There is a strong chance they can produce a twister.
What can a Judoka catch, but not throw?
A cold.
What does the winner of a Jiu Jitsu match lose?
His breath.
What’s a TaeKwonDo student’s favorite part of a motorcycle?
The kick stand.
What is a martial arts instructor’s favorite drink after a hard workout?
Fruit Punch.
Why are Judo Instructors easy to catch in practical jokes?
They fall for it every time.
Why can’t you get Kali gurus to break the rules?
They are sticklers.
Why can’t TaeKwonDo instructors jump the Grand Canyon with a flying side kick?
They always kick-the-bucket before they reach the other side.
What has two feet, but can’t walk?
A Kali stick.
What has four feet, but can’t walk?
A jo staff.
What has six feet, but can’t walk?
A bo staff.
What did the sword say to the stick?
You are pointless.
What sickness did the Chinese martial arts instructor have?
The Kung Flu.
What is a TaeKwonDo instructors favorite food?
Toe-fu.
What is it called when a ninjitsu martial arts instructor gets hurt?
A ninja-ry.
What is it called when a Chinese martial arts instructor goes too fast for his students to understand?
Kung-Fusing.
If you liked these jokes you will love these jokes for kids I have for you at this link specifically about Ninjas.
Long Martial Arts Jokes For Kids
Now let’s turn to the long form jokes that take a bit of memorization to pull off for a crowd of Little Ninjas. These are in narrative form, because we all like a good story, kids even more so.
The great thing about these marital arts jokes for kids is that they all entail a surprise at the punchline. So dive roll in or skip sidekick your way to these great story form jokes.
A martial arts instructor went to a comedy show one evening.
The first comedian came on stage and started his first joke. When he was almost finished telling it, the martial arts instructor jumped onto the stage and punched him in the stomach.
The instructor sat back down and the comedian left the stage in confusion.
The next comedian, not seeing what happened came out and began to tell his first joke. Near the end of it the martial arts instructor jumped up on the stage and punched him in the stomach. The comedian limped off stage and the martial arts instructor sat back down.
A third comedian took the stage and dove right into his first joke. When he came near the end of it, again the martial arts instructor jumped on the stage and punched him right in the stomach. When he did it made a loud ‘GONNNNGG’ sound. The comedian then pulled a pizza pan out from under his shirt.
Both men laughed and the martial arts instructor sat back down.
A horrified audience member stood up and shouted, “How can you think this is funny?!? He just hit you and two other comedians in the stomach!”
The comedian shrugged and said, “Why wouldn’t he? It was the punch line.”
One time I was walking along minding my own business. On the way to the corner store I turned down an alley for a shortcut. This was a mistake.
All of a sudden I found myself in a one versus five fight. I used every martial art technique I knew. The melee pushed my stamina to its breaking point.
At one point I thought my arm was broken and my leg was nearly unusable. It was a hard fight.
In the end, Chuck Norris beat the tar out of all five of us.
The martial arts of many different cultures have strengths that are undeniable. Some specialize in swords, others in grappling, and still others in high flying kicks.
Judo is a sport art from Japan that can make you a master of throwing.
Jujitsu is an art from Japan that can make you a master of blending swords with empty hand techniques.
Jiu Jitsu is a sport art from Brazil patterned after Judo that can make you a master of wrestling and grappling.
Kali is an art from the Philippines that can make you a master of most bladed and impact weapons.
Wrestling is a sport art from Greece and Italy that can make you a master of wrestling and grappling.
TaeKwonDo is a sport art from Korea that can make you a master of kicking.
Parkour is an acrobatic art from France that can make you a master of…. running away. HARD CORE PARKOUR!
A very important man in the middle ages needed a bodyguard for his trips from one town to the next. He sometimes would carry important documents and sometimes gold and jewels.
He had his assistant gather three of the most famous fighters from around the known world to meet with him. He wanted to offer the job to the most qualified of the three.
When they arrived he looked each one over, read about their accomplishments, and asked them to explain why they should be his bodyguard.
The first one was a world renowned Muay Thai expert. “I can break trees with my shin kick,” said the first fighter. “I can break through doors with my elbow strikes. I should be your bodyguard.”
The very important man thought for a moment and then turned to the second fighter who was a knight with a long history and asked him to give his reasons.
“I have traveled the world,” said the second man. “I have learned the ways of fighting from kings and emperors. My name is known in the courts of most every land. I should be your bodyguard.”
Hearing all of this, the third fighter who was a huge wrestling expert spoke up. “These two talk about all that they can do. Yet, I would put my body in front of yours and give my life for yours. They will only do what their skill will allow. I will protect your life with my life.”
The very important man was moved by the speech of the third fighter. He could see the truth of what the man was saying in his eyes. It was reassuring to know that such a man existed in the world.
He then turned and chose the knight, because he had a sword.
The Martial Arts Joke For Kids Takeaway…
There you have it. There are a few martial arts jokes in this mix for every taste. You have dad jokes, knock-knock jokes, puns, and rhymes. All of them are appropriate for kids, even though some are for younger and some for older ones.
Sift through and find the ones that will fit your next class or group of little munchkins. You may be surprised at which ones they find funny. You also may find yourself laughing right along with them.
If you have any jokes you would like to let me know about, just send them to me using the information on my contact page here. And come back often. I plan on rolling out many more lists of great martial arts jokes for kids.
