Ninja Jokes For Kids

Make a kid laugh today. Tell them one of these ninja jokes.

What is a ninja’s favorite drink?


Why don’t ninjas make such good singers?

Nobody can hear whisper songs.

How does a ninja say hello?


Jack was nimble, Jack was quick,

But Jack can’t jump a ninja kick.

Why can’t you find a ninja?

Because he already found you.

What is the only thing zombies are afraid of?

Zombie Ninjas

Why don’t ninjas watch sad movies?

Ninjas make sad stuff smell their stinky socks!

Can a ninja be fearless?

No. They scare themselves.

What shoes do ninjas wear?


What is a ninja pig called?


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Where do ninjas get snacks?

From your plate

Why can’t ninjas really be zombies?

You can’t say shhhhhh, with no lips.

What do you call a ninja with 8 older brothers?

A Nine-ja

Ninjas can hear so good…

they can hear bees burp.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

The ninja told her to

What did the ninja get everyone for Christmas?

Ninjabread men

What do you call a surprise party for a ninja?

Nothing, it’ll never happen.

How do you tell a ninja to get lost?


Why can’t ninjas be in a movie?

They keeps throwing stars.

What football position do ninjas play?


How will you know when you’ve found a ninja?

You won’t. Ninjas find you.

What is a ninja’s most favorite fish?


What is a ninja’s second favorite fish?


What games do ninjas win on the play ground?

All of them

What does a pirate ninja say?


Ninjas run so fast…

they get there yesterday.

What is the only thing stronger than a ninja?

Two ninjas

Ninjas jump so high…

they go down.

How do ninjas get across the ocean?

Flying Side Kick

Ninjas hear so well…

they can hear sign language.

Ninjas are so scary…

they make onions cry.

How high can a ninja count?

To infinity, 2 times

Who finds Waldo every time?

A ninja. Nobody hides from a ninja.

Ninjas are so accurate…

they can kick a cyclops between the eye.

What’s the only think the Hulk can’t smash?

A ninja

Why can’t you beat ninjas in a race?

They’re already there.

Ninjas are so nimble they can climb a rope…

without a rope.

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When monsters go to sleep they check under their beds…

for ninjas.

Ninjas are so quiet…

they can speak braille.

Ninjas pop wheelies…

on unicycles.

Why don’t ninjas build ladders out of chopsticks?

ninjas don’t use ladders.

Why don’t Ninjas hide?

nobody would dare to see them.

Why don’t ninjas read watches?

they decide what time it is.

Why do ninjas always write in permanent ink?

Ninjas don’t make mistakes.

What happened when the tooth fairy took the ninja’s tooth?

The ninja took it back.

Once, a ninja thought he was wrong,

but he made a mistake.

Why are ninjas always early?

Time can’t catch up.

Ninjas are so good at math…

they can count by zeros.

Ninjas are so famous…

Spiderman has a ninja poster on his wall.

Why don’t ninjas don’t read books?

Books give up the information willingly.

Why won’t ninjas fly on airplanes?

They only slow them down.

How many moves does it take for a ninja to win at Connect Four?


What is the only thing that can find a ninja hiding in a room?

A mirror

Who are the only ones that can beat ninjas at chess?


What are the Olympic Games?

Warm-ups for ninjas.

When a ninja couldn’t learn anything from a library…

she side kicked it so hard it became a school.

How much wood could a ninja break with one kick at a belt test?

All of it

Ninjas order peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at McDonald’s…

and get them.

Ninjas don’t do push-ups…

they move the earth up and down.

When ninjas stub their toes…

coffee tables jump around crying.

Ninjas can make 3 point shots in the Staples Center in Los Angeles…

from the half court line in Madison Square Garden in New York City.

Ninja masks don’t have to be held in place by anything…

they are too scared to move.

If at first you don’t succeed…

you know you’re not a ninja.

You might think you’ve found a good hiding place from a ninja…

but the ninja got there first.

Ninjas lead their horses to water…

and make them drink.

What is a ninja’s favorite element on the periodic table?

The element of surprise

Ninjas CAN…

judge books by their covers.

Forests aren’t being cleared for farmland…

ninjas just need more boards to break.

Ninjas use nightlights, but not for themselves.

The dark is afraid of them.

In a fight between Batman and Spiderman…

a ninja would win.

Ninjas don’t look both ways before crossing the road…

you can’t squish a ninja.

When ninjas do long division…

there are no remainders.

A ninja times a ninja equals…

a ninja. There is nothing greater than a ninja.

Ninjas win NASCAR races…

without a car.

When a sign says ‘one per customer’ at a store…

ninjas take two.

Why can’t ninjas fart?

Nothing escapes a ninja.

Ninjas sleep with a pillow…

under their swords.

Aliens do exist. They just don’t come to earth.

They’re scared of ninjas.

What is the first letter of the alphabet?

A Ninja

What is the last letter of the alphabet?


Who would lose between ninjas and The Justice League?

Everyone on the planet, except the ninjas.

Ninjas don’t really like Karate.

They just hate boards.

Ninjas can’t have heart attacks.

Hearts aren’t silly enough to attack a ninja.

Why did the ninja cross the road?

No one knows. No one has the courage to ask.

Why don’t you need to call a ninja on the phone?

They are already behind you.

What makes the world go around?

Ninjas doing warm-up laps

Love conquers all…

except ninjas.

What is the meaning of life?


Ninjas know all of the…

digits of pie.

What’s invisible and smells horrible?

Ninja farts

Ninjas can stir so fast…

they can unscramble eggs.

What kind of ball do ninjas play soccer with?

A bowling ball

Descartes said, “I think therefore I am…

afraid of ninjas.”

What happens if a ninja knife-hand chops a twenty dollar bill?

It turns into 400 nickles.

What toys do ninja babies like to play with?


If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Yes. Who do you think side kicked it down in the first place. Ninjas.

When ninjas sneeze…

their eyes stay open.

When someone yells, “Last one in is a rotten egg!”

Ninjas are never rotten eggs.

What do ninjas dress up like for Halloween?


Ninjas don’t sleep…

they wait quietly.

The fences at the zoo are not to keep the animals in.

They are to keep the ninjas out.

How do you wake up a ninja?

You mean the one standing behind you?

Why can’t you give ninjas directions?

They are already there.

There are two kinds of ninjas in the world. The one you don’t see.

And the one behind you.

Who do ninjas consider their best friends?


What is a ninja’s favorite drink?

Kara Tea

Why can’t ninjas draw well?

It is impossible for them to leave a trace.

Why do monsters hide in the closet?

Because ninjas hide under their beds.

Why did the ninja get chased by the grocery store security guard?

He whipped the cream and beat the eggs.

Why did the ninja sneak into the castle to take a shower?

He wanted a clean getaway.

What did the ninja say when he stole someone’s cheese sauce.

Nacho Cheese!

What do you get when a ninja cow practices jumping kicks?

A milk shake

Why did the ninja run around the bed?

To catch up on some sleep

What do ninjas like to help teachers with in school?

Hole punching

What is a ninja’s favorite kick to do in bad weather?

Tornado kick

How did the ninja make an octopus laugh?

Gave it ten-tickles

What made the ninja laugh so hard when he climbed the mountain?

It was hill-arious

What did the ninja do to the man in the photo that got the him sent to jail?

He framed him

What do you call a ninja fart?

Silent but deadly

Mathew Booe

Mathew Booe is a father of four, husband to Jackie since 1994, retired international competitor with over 50 wins, an international seminar instructor, a master instructor of hundreds of Little Ninjas each week, and the one bringing you the great content like you just read. Sign up for the newsletter to hear about his upcoming books before they are released to the public.

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